Children

Working with Ego States

Ego state work is the most interesting of therapies. It is unconventional in that it doesn't look to change your thoughts or beliefs like most modalities, but somehow it magically does by attuning to the parts within you that got stuck at a young age. Ego-state theory believes that within all of us are parts that contain old emotions and wounds that never got to fully heal. Have you ever became really irritable with someone and felt that your feelings were over-exaggerated but you couldn't change the strong emotion you were having? Or maybe you've felt a tremendous sense of guilt for saying no to a request your friend made, even though you know you made the right decision? Or do you take others' behaviors personally even though logically you know you shouldn't? That is where ego-state theory gets involved, where our strong emotional reactions are a result of wounding experiences we've had in our childhood that affect our perspective today

I was first introduced to ego-state theory in 2017 when I learned about it in my EMDR training. Two years later I found the Developmental Needs Meeting Strategy (DNMS) that had been developed by Shirley Jean Schmidt. While there are many different ego-state therapies, I primarily utilize the DNMS which looks at parts more from a developmental perspective. By working directly with those parts of self which are linked to our strong emotional states, we relieve the parts enough to where you can have your adult perspective running the show once again. We also attune those wounded parts within you to your most adult self, so your adult self can heal the wounded states from childhood. What that means is if you do become emotional, you'll feel more clear and in control with your emotional states once you've worked with and healed the parts within. Please reference the video below for more information.

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I'm still learning to love parts of myself that no one claps for. - Rudy Francisco